


4 Hours and 20 Minutes (of Pot Smoking)

by apelilly



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen, M/M, Marijuana
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-17
Updated: 2013-09-17
Packaged: 2017-12-26 20:04:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/969752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apelilly/pseuds/apelilly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is JOHN EGBERT and you have no idea how you got here.</p>
            </blockquote>





	4 Hours and 20 Minutes (of Pot Smoking)

**Author's Note:**

> Alternate events wherein everyone is together on the meteor and two young friendleaders get up to some illegal shenanigans of the pot smoking variety.
> 
> Do people even like weed smoking fic?

Your name is JOHN EGBERT and you have no idea how you got here.

"Here" just so happens to be a giant meteor or, more specifically, the respiteblock within the laboratories of the giant meteor that your co-friend-leader, KARKAT VANTAS, has claimed for his own. 

Actually, to be quite honest, you _do_ know how you managed to get here. It is, however, a long winded and very complicated explanation that you don't exactly have the patience or coherency to actually get through it all. You can, however, offer the explanation of Dave. And weed. Yes, Dave and weed. Marijuana and Dave. Marijuana Strider. Okay, the story is getting away from you but suffice to say you are here because Dave had found some of the illegal substance stashed in his old apartment back on LOHAC a while ago (it's his Bro's, he swears!) and had captchalogued it before proceeding to forget all about it up until not too long ago after you had all reconvened on the meteor together (and what a tearful, ironic, _Con Air_ worthy reunion that had been).

Many a thing had taken place between then and now, though you aren't quite sober enough to be thinking about then so you will just continue to think about now. The now in which you have successfully coerced one, Karkat Vantas, into smoking some sweet dope with you. To be quite honest, you hadn't been too sure about it at first, but then there was the realization that you were all stuck on this flying space rock for quite some time and that normal, everyday teenage pressures like _should I try smoking this pot_ weren't going to come along like this again for the unforeseeable future (if ever), so you decided to throw caution to the wind (hehe) and just try it.

Dave even helped you alchemize a one of a kind Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff bong! Good Dave, best friend.

So now you are sitting here ("here" still being Karkat's respiteblock but everything has become a bit hazy), Karkat to your right and the husktop in front of you still playing _The Thresh Prince of Bel-Air_ and every time you try and speak to him your voice sounds like it is echoing off of the walls of the incredibly small room but that can't be right at all. You don't feel right either. Well, wait, you don't feel _right_ but you also don't feel _wrong_. Actually, you are feeling _pretty gosh darn relaxed_ and it is kind of amazing. You'll have to thank Dave again when the both of you have your palhoncho hang out time.

But anyway, _The Thresh Prince_ is kind of ridiculously hilarious and you can't stop laughing at it and you're pretty sure your laugh is very obnoxious but that's okay because surprisingly, so is Karkat's. Eventually though, the show ends and instead of putting on another one, you and Karkat settle for turning on some music and just sitting there together. He complains that the roof of his mouth is fuzzy and he should go get a drink to help fix it but he doesn't bother moving and neither do you. Karkat's music is odd and a bit loud and kind of grumpy; just like him. He actually tells you to shut up during a few songs because he wants to hear it but you don't listen because you never listen to him and why start now?

After a while, you suggest listening to some of your music that you think he will enjoy. He agrees but not too long into it he is complaining that it is a "piece of shit" and "why would any self respecting artist write this garbage and then spew it forth out of their gaping hole that they call a mouth".

You offer to change back to his music.

"I didn't say I don't like it," he says.

You grin so hard that your cheeks start to hurt.

Karkat picks up the bong again and takes another hit before passing it to you. You're glad that you've both managed to do this without coughing now because you seriously sucked beforehand. You take a few more hits than you probably should and when you set the bong down again then settle back, you feel like you are being filmed in a movie without actually being in one. It feels really weird and really cool. You turn your head to look at Karkat so you can tell him but stop when you find him staring at you. You feel like he is studying you so you study him in turn. You take in his grey face and his nubby horns. His eyes are big and red from smoking and look extremely pretty with his dark hair falling into them. Karkat licks his lips, that little greyish tongue catching your attention so you don't notice when he moves a bit closer to you.

Everything gets really warm and fuzzy for a moment so you close your eyes and when you open them again, he is right there in front of you, face inches away from yours. You try blinking again more rapidly but he is still there, looking at you.

Then he is sliding his tongue over his crooked teeth and saying, "John. John I can't feel my teeth."

You laugh at him in an absolutely obnoxious manner and then he kisses you.

Kissing Karkat while you're high is weird because although he says he can't feel his teeth, _you_ can certainly feel them. It's a little unpleasant at first and you want to tell him so but then he starts to suck on your bottom lip (in a terribly sloppy way) and you decide against it, shutting your eyes tight because things are dizzy and your face is extremely warm.

So the both of you are basically making out now, your hands sliding into his hair and Karkat awkwardly climbing on top of you like you're a big mountain he wants to reach top of but he's really tiny so you decide to be a gentleman and _help a brother out_ by sliding down in your seat just a little bit. He seems glad for it and chooses to reward you for your nice gesture by sort of trying to rub against you. At first, you aren't completely sure what he's doing and you want to laugh again but then he actually manages to line your hips up together and you are the one seeing stars. It's you.

"Oh wow," you say, starting to move with him. You open your eyes to look at him and find his are closed. His face is flushed, mouth opened slightly to show off those crooked teeth all crammed together, your name is slipping out of his mouth over and over again in his rough voice and you wrap your long arms around him because fuck, he is pretty hot and adorable for a little space alien troll guy from a different universe.

Also, smoking pot makes you gay and not care.

You're going to punch Dave and then hug him. Then punch him a second time.

The both of you kiss again, looking like the epitome of class with your smacking lips and your small amounts of drool. The friction of your movements is fantastic and all too soon you're coming in your pants and _wow that is embarrassing way to go!_

You sag under Karkat, messy but relaxed though he is still rubbing himself against you. It's only for a moment however and then out of nowhere he is hissing and scrambling off of you like you burned him, rambling something like "shit'll fucking stain oh my fuck fuck fuck" before disappearing into his bathroom.

Things around you still feel pretty unusual but definitely not bad. You wonder if you should have one more hit but decide against it and wait for Karkat to come back. When he does, he seems sluggish and is wearing different pants. He collapses next to you, trying not to let out a little satisfied sigh but it escapes anyway. You smile at him and he sort of grins back. The two of you are quiet until his gaze travels to your pants and he wrinkles his nose.

"Change your pants, John."

"No." You reply, grinning at him.

He scowls at you and flips you off, obviously too tired and still a little bit too high to do much else. It makes you laugh and lean closer to him, resting your head on his shoulder. He doesn't object to your action; instead, he rests his head on top of yours and proposes that _The Thresh Prince_ be something that you guys watch again. You agree and both of you settle down together to watch it.

Karkat says his mouth still feels funny and when you open your mouth to answer him, your voice is still echoing loudly in your ears. This time, however, it feels exactly right.

**Author's Note:**

> The teeth thing happened to me and the echoing happens all the time. Hope you enjoyed this. If anything vaguely canon about homestuck terms and places seem off, well, yolo. Baby's first Johnkat and all.
> 
> Now back to writing tinychildstuck where they get up to shenanigans of the very not illegal variety.


End file.
